Author’s Note: This article was written by me and Laimae R. Chua as part of our final requirement for our subject course entitled “Social Problems” which aimed to raise their awareness on the important role of mass media in empowering people with this information and in mobilizing them to take action. It was taught by Professor Karol Ilagan, a reporter for the Philippine Center of Investigative Journalism.
The COVID-19 global emergency has taken a toll not only in the different sectors of society — education, economy, governance, etc. — but also on human life itself, specifically mothers who have struggled to make sure there’s always food on the plate every day for their family.
Mothers themselves have to continue facing the hustle and bustle of everyday life despite what the lockdown calls for, especially in the Philippines.
Living through a global pandemic takes resilience, and many mothers know this, including a number of them who were interviewed on how they approach the current uncertain situation.
Being a woman of faith and hope, Flor Abad, 34, a single mother explained how she lives resiliency in a time of uncertainty.
“I feel that I am being able to cope with the pandemic as a New Yorker because … I believe that if you trust God, he will give you peace and strength to keep going,” according to her interview with Bread.org.
Despite her display of strength, she also acknowledges the anxiety when the lockdown was first announced in the city where she resides in, New York. According to the article, being able to open her windows in the morning and seeing just many people passing by already gives her comfort.
“Opening the window blinds and letting the sun come in [help]. Abad says it gives her a sense of freedom and peace.”
Most of all, she emphasizes the need of being “interconnectedness” despite the required physical distancing during this time of the pandemic, explaining that, “Alone, we cannot do this. We have to be there for each other. It’s the only way,” hoping that others would also realize this.
Introduction to COVID-19
The first confirmed case of COVID-19 in the Philippines was announced on January 30, 2020, after a 38-year old female Chinese national arrived from Wuhan, the quick spread of the virus alarmed the entirety of Metro Manila and the whole nation.
From then on, many establishments were closed, businesses were stagnant for months and working individuals including single parents were struggling with everyday battles to survive the quarantine.
In an article by CNN Philippines, more than two million workers nationwide have been displaced as local governments continue to implement COVID-19 quarantine measures.
Around 2,073,362 workers have lost their jobs as of April 24, and 1.4 million were displaced due to temporary closures of establishments with over 600,000 personnel reported reduced incomes due to modified working arrangements, according to DOLE.
With those figures, the population of workers including single parents was deeply affected by the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) protocols. Based on statistics conducted by the Philippine Statistics Authority, an estimated three million household heads without a spouse and two million of whom were female which resulted in the Federation of Solo Parents Luzvimin-United Solo Parents of the Philippines (FSPL-USPP) to gain almost 80,000 new members.
The FSPL-USPP is a non-profit civil society organization which aims to promote solo parent’s rights and welfare through community outreach, volunteering programs, social media management, and public relations. Having such a community would help single parents cope up with emotional battles, sudden realizations, and financial needs.
According to a report by CNBC, 74% of U.S. mothers say they feel mentally worse since the pandemic began, which according to a recent study conducted by Motherly, a motherhood lifestyle brand based in the U.S., almost 3,000 millennial moms ages 24 to 39 suffer from exhaustion, which makes it difficult for them to support their families during the pandemic since some of them already feel “burned out.”
“There’s no magic bullet that will make living through this crisis easy,” as stated in a report by childmind.org, which laid down possibilities on how single mothers could confront the current situation: start with acceptance, find your support network, and make a plan to balance family and work, get ahead of your behavior issues, and many more.
In the Philippines, no one is naive to the reality of knowing that a pandemic like COVID-19 affects all walks of life including mothers, including Beatriz Talavera, who continues to struggle despite her duties of being a mother, facing anxiety issues and the pandemic.
Beatriz Talavera: a young mother battling anxiety
Beatriz Talavera began her journey when she became a mother at 19 years old. Despite feeling “incapable” and “too young” to handle such responsibilities of being a parent, this doesn’t stop her from raising her two kids.
“It wasn’t easy to be a mother at a young age. I was battling with [the] postpartum disorder (a mood disorder in women after childbirth wherein mothers would experience extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion). But as time went by, I finally learned to adapt in my situation and raised my kids,” she said.
Being a single mother for seven years, Talavera somehow adjusted to the ways of how it is to raise the kids all by herself. From enjoying the life of being a teenager to becoming a mother, Beatriz continued to encounter certain struggles.
“Most of the time, I would decline my friend’s invitation to go out, and now that I have my two boys, I’m much happier going out with them,” Beatriz explained.
Her two boys, ages seven and five, did not prove to be difficult to take care of while being a single mother.
“It’s not that hard to be a single parent. I feed them, bathe them, [and] it’s easy for me to have a playmate since they are both boys. And with their smile and laughter, that’s when I [realized] how priceless it is to have my two boys,” the 26-year-old mother said.
“All my hardships at work would pay-off whenever I get home and [be with]my two boys,” Beatriz added.
However, in the year 2015 when her firstborn, Vicktor Ortega, was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of two, her positive outlook in life quickly shifted into deep distress.
“I thought all the hardships in my life have already ended, however, I continue to fight because I only have myself and the kids,” she explained.
While her son Vicktor was undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy, Beatriz could not help but think “if I could carry all the burden [by] myself.”
When she was first pregnant, Beatriz was diagnosed for having a major depressive disorder and this caused by non-stop uncontrollable situations in her life. Her father was abusive both physically and verbally, with her firstborn having Leukemia, losing her job, and with her problematic husband.
“I took palliatives and intravenous (IV) shots because at that time I can’t even eat my food, I would usually throw up, I can’t even see my kids and I was just alone in the hospital for weeks,” she explained.
Those were the downfalls in her life but with strong faith and with her two boys Beatriz managed to overcome those struggles and now, her firstborn is in the remission phase and is cancer-free.
She may be down and full of despair all the time, but this does not stop Beatriz from having strong faith because according to her, “God is so good.”
Dilemma during quarantine
Her son’s monthly check-up was the ultimate struggle for Beatriz during quarantine, at the same time making sure there’s food on the table for both of her children.
“I can’t find the means to have enough food for both of them. All the more during this quarantine I can’t take my firstborn to PGH (Philippine General Hospital) for his monthly check-up,” she said.
Despite the struggle, the mother was beyond grateful for her relatives and friends who never failed to help in terms of financial need.
“[My cousin] was one of those who helped me financially for the chemotherapy and check-up of my son, and my friends would personally go to PGH to donate blood for my son’s condition and my ever-supportive and lovable mother who never left during those moments of my life,” Beatriz said.
Simple joys despite the quarantine
Since Beatriz was a full-time front desk receptionist at an e-sports company before the quarantine occurred, she would normally leave her kids to her mom. In comparison with the minimal amount of time she used to spend with her kids before the quarantine, she became more hands-on with her kids.
“I feel like I’ve become more of a mother during the ECQ,” she said, “I get to spend more time with my children and I get to see what they usually do at home.”
At the end of the interview, Beatriz was asked to share her thoughts with people claiming that being a single mom was a disgrace.
“For those closed-minded people who keep on judging single parents like me, I pity them. Being a single parent is never easy,” she said.
“I always think of how I’m going to feed my children every day. Yes, I am still young, but I’m proud … [and] you never really know what life is … Having my kids is the greatest gift this world has given me,” she added.
“We are all human beings, and [yet], we have different stories.”
Difficult situations call for different perspectives especially in a time like the global emergency we are in. Like what Beatriz said, it’s an opportune time to listen to a mother who is also a physician herself and continues to struggle in balancing family and medical work altogether.
Gina Perez: family-work balance
An ophthalmologist for the past 22 years in the Philippine Heart Center, Gina Perez continues to give herself to the needs of her patients and her four children, always making an effort to balance family life with her professional work as a physician, despite the expected lockdown.
“I have expected the lockdown to be forthcoming because as a doctor, I am aware that the only way to control the situation is to implement a lockdown,” she explained in an interview.
Gina herself acknowledged, however, that she did not realize the effects of the lockdown up until it was enforced in Metro Manila.
“Like anybody else, I was in disbelief because of the sudden turn of events and its implications in our daily living, specifically the schooling of my children and its effects on our work,” she continued.
When asking about what it means for her to be a mother, she explained that “it is the mother’s responsibility to look after her child’s welfare at all times and all costs.”
“Although I have been doing such for almost 22 years, the pandemic has brought out in me such strength — physical, psychological, and emotional strength that I never realized I possess.”
A conscious effort
When asked about her inner strengths, she explained that “I have to be strong and calm in front of my family even if there are times that I feel like breaking down because of the suddenness of the new normal and its effects on my relationships.”
“I miss my parents, I miss going out, [and] I miss looking out after my patients.”
The ophthalmologist then had to re-assess and adjust to the circumstances of the uncertain situation, explaining that she needed “to make a conscious effort to be productive.”
“I had to stop working as a clinician but as a mom and homemaker, work is 24/7… [So] I decided to focus on that,” Gina said.
“I became creative in the kitchen and home decluttering was finally attended to,” she continued, “Physical fitness became a priority also because I had no more excuse not to get up and exercise.”
The greatest change
“I had more than enough time on my hands.”
According to Gina, the pandemic has brought upon the ‘greatest change’ that would give her inner peace and more reason to believe that everything is for the good is prayer.
“More than anything, I believe that this extraordinary time has driven me to become more prayerful than I have ever been,” she explained.
Now with more to be “connected with God,” she looks forward to the daily masses live-streamed online because “it sustains [her] and takes away most of [her] anxieties.”
“I believe too that because of the aforementioned changes I have grown even closer to my husband and my children.”
“We spend almost all of the time together, and we are slowly getting used to this setup. I cook for them, pray with them, [and] do some activities with them. I try to talk to them individually to find out how they are coping with the circumstances. Of course, we give each other space when needed. We are enjoying this period in our lives, no matter how ‘stressful’ this time is for others.”
Telemedicinal consultations
Gina clarified that not all medical workers have to be in the frontlines including herself since her specialization does not require her to do so.
“I mostly see non-urgent cases, and because of this, my work as an eye doctor abruptly stopped two and a half months ago,” she explained.
She nevertheless continued working on how to accommodate patients using digital means, resorting first to receiving text messages and cell phone calls with former and new patients.
“If ever there would be consultations from my old patients (or even new ones), I willingly accommodated them through text messages.”
Several platforms online including Zoom, which provides video telephony used for teleconferencing, and GCash, a mobile payment service that allows you to pay bills, send or receive money, helped Gina in setting up in her new “virtual clinic.”
The ophthalmologist was then able to reach out to more of her patients with the use of different digitized eye tests in virtual consultation set-ups.
“During the last two weeks, I have shifted to virtual consultations or telemedicine, which, although with limitations, enables me to reach out, converse, examine, and treat patients,” she said.
For Gina, it gives her “a sense of gratification to be able to ‘return’ to work and doing what [she finds] joy in, despite the huge adjustment and preparations [physicians] had to go through.”
Doctors like her value the most important aspect of living their vocations in the medical field: being able to serve, at the same time, enjoying what they do the most.
She said that “the few patients I have interacted with have expressed their appreciation for this new mode of consultation, because it gives them an opportunity to be treated while being protected from COVID-19.”
“At the end of our teleconsultation, one patient thanked me profusely for accommodating her and giving her medical advice through a virtual consultation, using the zoom platform. She was hesitant to proceed to the nearest hospital for her eye condition because of the COVID-19 threat when exposed. It was such a relief upon learning that doctors can now do an examination and provide treatment through this modality.”
Motherhood means self-giving
In talking about other working mothers during the time of COVID-19, Gina believes that mothers are the “stronger individuals around,” since they have learned the virtue of self-sacrifice when they first gave birth to their child.
“Therefore, during times of crisis, moms can display enormous strength and calm. I feel that they have the greatest capacity to adjust,” she continued.
